Friday, 21 December 2012

Evaluation of my 1st draft script

Advantages:
  • It has a clear narrative structure i.e. equilibrium (unpopular Prime Minister), action (PM goes on a tour) and new equilibrium (refreshed, more popular, PM)
  • It has a good 'cliff hanger' (the PM calling a general election). This also means other episodes could be made, making it into a series
  • There are some funny bits. My personal favourites being the weather forecast and the mobility scooter race
  • There is good use of sound effects and location sounds; I've tried to create an 'imaginary world' and hope this will translate into the production
  • The Prime Minister, Morris Lloyd-Jones, shows his humanity and emotion when seeing himself being mocked on the television, making the audience (hopefully) feel sympathetic towards him
  • Continuity is good. I have tried to make each change of scene a 'leap' in time, with a fade in at the beginning and fade out at the end of each scene
To be improved:
  • In general, I need to re-visit each section of dialogue to ensure it is natural. This is one of the most difficult aspects if writing a radio play and why I have drafted a script
  • Some jokes need to be altered or perhaps even removed (e.g. the joke about it always raining in Scotland)
  • A scene, or maybe even several, may need to be cut (Maybe scenes 2 & 3?). The reasons for this are twofold. Firstly, my play in its current form I think is over my five minute time limit. Secondly, I feel that the beginning of my play is too long before the 'action' of the tour begins
  • In my opinion, the quality of the writing gets better throughout - a by-product of improving my script writing skills with more experience. This needs to be solved.

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